A While Ago

Wow do I stink at this whole blog thing…..sad face.  Who would have though being pregnant would shift your entire schedule around. 

Soooo anyway, Today I am 5 weeks from my due date.  I don’t do math in public, but that is 35 days.  UNREAL!  I am getting extremely excited and anxious all at the same time.  Dreams of dropping the baby boy are usually nightly occurrences, along with my milk not coming in, and having him say “ok now what” the minute we get him home from the hospital.  Yikes! 

My doctorsays all is on track and he isn’t too big and neither am I, YAY!  Though I do feel rather whalish and anxiously await someone to scream, “Is anyone a Marine Biologist?” when I am walking waddling down the walk.

Speaking of the pregnant waddle.  My waddle really only kicks in when Baby Boy pushes on the organ that used to be my bladder.  What fun!

I think the best most irritating part of being THIS pregnant is everyone has an opinion on when you are going to deliver and how big your child is going to be.  I have heard everything from, “Gee are you going to make it through the day?” to “Wow, that is going to be a BIG baby!  I say 11 lbs!!!”  You want to piss off a pregnant lady, that is the best way to make it happen. 

This week I move on to weekly doctor appointments…which I suppose is necessary to tell if I am really going to get this baby out early or on time…or late.  I honestly would love to hold him in until Oct 9, only because I won’t have to go back to work until after the New Year…

On to another topic…our kitchen remodel.  Can I tell you how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE my kitchen and LOVE LOVE LOVE my husband who basically did everything to get it done.  He rocks.  We went from pale yellow BLAH walls, to awesome Granny Smith Apple Green walls with ALL new cabinets, sans grease from previous owners, AND!!! solid surface counter tops.  Did I mention I love it!  Here are some before and afters:

From Kitchen Remodel

 

From Kitchen Remodel

From Kitchen Remodel

 

Sweet huh!  We still have some finishing touches to complete, however it is a HUGE improvement. 

We have almost finished with baby boy’s room.  We were lucky enough to get a TON of stuff from friends.  We have been given everything from a baby swing and changing table to onsies and a breast pump!  Friends are great!  Thanks Everyone!!   We just have to acquire a rocking chair and we will be ready….in his bedroom that is. 

I should have some more pictures to post after this weekend.  I am headed home to the farm for my baby shower with the family!  Thanks to my AWESOME sister-in-law, it will be fantastic. 

More to come…and without months in between.

 

It is a baby boy!

We had our 20 week ultra-sound today and it was nothing less than magical.  Being pregnant never became so real than seeing the little sprout on the screen today.  It is hard to find the words to see your own child’s heart beating and it wiggling away from the pressing wand. 

The ultra-sound nurse told us she was going to do a lot of measuring first to make sure they can get as much on screen as possible and then she would help determine the sex.  The little sprout had its own plan.  Pretty much from the beginning we could see our little one is a boy.  I found myself wiping tears away during the entire time after that.  It was so exciting. 

He looked like a real little person, not the alien-like mass of cells at 12 weeks we had for some genetic testing.  He has a sweet little round head and long legs that he is reaching up to his chin (he gets that from his dad – the long legs that is). 

I was a little conflicted going into the ultra-sound.  I thought of great things to do with boys and girls.  Of course sewing and cooking with a little girl, and fishing and gardening with a boy.  I can’t be happier that the doctor, who is awesome, told us everything looks perfect, and that perfect baby is a boy. 

It is hard to believe we are half-way finished with the pregnancy, it will be a different world, but this discovery of our little boy and now really having “eyes” on him is great.

From Ultra-Sound 20 May 2009

From Ultra-Sound 20 May 2009

 

Back from Life

Holy crap, the last 3 months of my life have flown.  I am so ashamed I haven’t posted anything substantial since Feb 17, letting everyone know I am pregnant.  That has been a ride, let me tell you. 

I hit my official five month mark on Monday, and the next step is to find out if the little sprout is a boy or girl.  That will happen 20 May, and not soon enough.  Honestly, I am alright with either.  WARNING CLICHE AHEAD- Just a healthy baby, is what both Josh and I want.

At the end of Feb I was feeling pretty much like doo-doo each day when I would get home from work, so I felt ZERO like updating a blog.  I was completely exhausted and then the computer is in sniffing range of the kitchen.  The smell of cooking food was enough to send me over the edge.  I distinctly remember running up the stairs crying because I felt so guilty I couldn’t even finish cooking because I felt like I was going to get sick in the pots on the stove.  Fun times! 

At night, I couldn’t sleep through the night.  I was constantly getting up to “run to the bathroom” just to go to sleep for an hour and do it all over again.  Within those amazing 60 min sleep sessions, I would have the wildest dreams about turtles with teeth, the wicked witch from Snow White, and failing at the myriads of tasks new mother’s have to learn.  More fun times! 

The dreams are still occurring, but food isn’t as much of a bother, but the sight of raw chicken still sends me for a loop.  The last month has been much more enjoyable.

The wild part is, most pregnant women can’t say they were deployed to work in a field tent for the US Army for 3 weeks in cold, rainy Germany.  I am just finishing up a 3 week adventure in Grafenwoher, Germany where I am just now getting my hands on a computer that  can reach out to more than just operational stuff.  Days were long and the food was Blah!  I can’t wait to go home….Saturday.

While I was here, I felt the little sprout start moving around inside of me.  What an unreal feeling.  I feel like it is giving me a reverse belly tickle — from the inside.  I wouldn’t really describe it as butterflies, more like bubbles.  It is really moving around in there, let me tell you. 

As for the home-front, Josh is currently renovating our kitchen, from top-to-bottom.  I can’t wait to see it.  New EVERYTHING.  I have always wanted an Apple Green kitchen, and now I am getting it, with new appliances, floors, cabinets, counter-tops, the WHOLE nine yards. 

I should have pictures to share once I am home for more than 1 weekend.  So, despite my long absence, I will soon be back in the game and ready to update on all the kicks of the sprout, successes and failures of kitchen remodeling, and what our next step is.

Its a wild ride!

 

Knocked Up

Over the past two the three weeks I have been riding a roller-coaster of nausea, exhaustion and a heighten sense of smell that equates to the way bats can hear. 

First lets look at the nausea.  It comes in waves, though it seems like it is looming in the back ground of my tummy all day.  I only feel a tad bit of relief upon eating something.  Typically that something is a piece of fruit or wheat chex.  Usually, the sickness is at it worst in the mornings and then on my drive home from work.  I have started to take note and mitigate that feeling by carrying a granola bar with me where ever I go. 

Now to the extreme exhaustion.  I feel pretty good until 1:30 – 2:00 pm most days, then I feel like I hit a brick wall.  I could easily pull a Costanza and nap under my desk at work with a few blankets and a pillow.  Actually, I find myself fantasizing about doing just that.  On my drive home, I can’t wait to walk in the door and just lay down in bed or on the couch.  Josh has been aaa-MA-zing and understanding about how freaking tired I feel. 

Lastly, the sense of smell.  I have always thought it would be cool to have heightened senses, though when one triggers a regurgatory reflex, it doesn’t seem so X-Men like.  Items like chicken, spinach, microwave meals, olive oil heating in a pan, and vinegar sets me over the edge.  Also, I am slightly ashamed to say, one woman at work, her perfume is TERRIBLE and she insists on sitting next to me during each meeting.  When she does, I quietly excuse myself to powder room and re-enter to position myself somewhere else.  How in the world do you tell someone their perfume is making you feel like you are about to be sick at any moment?  Yikes!

So lets put all of these things together, coupled with the absence of the Cardinal coming for his monthly visit lead me to say, hmm maybe it is time for an At-Home-Pregnancy test. 

Due to the confusion of December, I didn’t want to translate between faint pink lines, double lines, single lines, blah, blah, blah, so I went with the digital reader.  I got it all set up and it said within 3 minutes the test result should appear.  Well, it didn’t even take a full minute and PREGNANT popped up on the screen. 

So, its official, I am pregnant.  I think I am going to write my wishes and dreams on my blog more.  It seems to be effective in making them come true.  I love it when a plan comes together!

 

The New Year

Understanding I am 30 days late in my realization and acceptance of the new year, it really has made little impact on my life.  Not only have I been working countless hours at work, I have been home to the farm and to Germany in the past 20 days!  Knowing all the great resolutions people going about their day-to-day lives are making to become better, skinnier, more organized people, I have only a few goals/hopes – not resolutions – for the year to come. 

1.  Get pregnant.  I know I have little control over whether this happens or not, but Josh and I are determined to make it happen.  It sounds easy, but let me tell you, we have been trying since about September of 08 and nothing!  I thought I was pregnant over Christmas holiday, but alas, it wasn’t time.  I was a little embarrassed because I sent some texts messages about seeing two lines on the pregnancy test to a friend of mine and being totally excited, but not really sure because the line was faint.  Followed by the next morning, taking the test again to discover, No keep trying!  Fingers crossed, I will be knocked up sometime in 2009.

2.  Continue to kick ass at work.  Over the past year, I have been advancing myself within my company and at the Command.  I am looked at as a professional and continue to be pulled in to advise many decisions not just at my little action officer level.  This feels great!  This leads to number three.

3.  Once I am preggers – maintain professionalism and be a good mommy.  I will have to chat with a number of my friends with children about how best to do that, but I am certain it can be done.

Here’s hoping!

 

My Favorite White Christmas

Talking about Grandma G yesterday made me think a little harder about what my actual favorite things are around the holidays, which includes her and my Grandaddy.

My grandparents loved musical, naturally that meant I did too, I LOVED spending time with them.  My favorite musicals to watch with them were Oklahoma and White Christmas.  I get goose bumps just thinking about that movie and how great it was to spend 2 hours with them in the warm house filling our eyes and ears with the yummy sights and sounds of Bing Crosby and Rosemary Clooney.  My word, I LOVE that movie and memory.

 

My Grandaddy was a WWII veteran, D-Day, Italy, Africa, the whole European Campaign, it is amazing what he experienced, though he never talked about it.  This movie resonated for the people of that era so much because it embraced that war-time feel.  I didn’t really know why at the time, but I was proud of my Grandaddy and would picture him a part of the movie at the end when the Colonel was honored with his song from Bing and the boys. 

Grandaddy and Grandma’s story is actually quite remarkable.  They fell in love through letters during his deployment.  They both went to the same church for years so they knew of one another.  When the draft began, naturally he was called up.  Unfortunately, his father took ill and passed while he was in Africa.  Grandma felt sorry for him and starting corresponding with him through letters.  For years they communicated only in writing and when he finally came home from the terrors of war, she was waiting for him.  They were married, lived and loved like teenagers until the day he died.  That’s the short of it, but no less enviable to the true romantics out there.   

Thinking about White Christmas and my time with my beloved Grandparents grounds me back to what is and always has been important.  It is funny how certain songs, pictures and movies can do that to you. So, I am hoping on my drive home from work today, I will be hoping that the Christmas Carol radio station will hold back the pop songs of my generation, and instead take me back to my most favorite White Christmas memories with Grandma and Grandaddy. 

 

 

My Favorite Things

Unfortunately, due to my December work schedule I have not been able to hit the sewing machine, at all!  It is so depressing.  This is the first Christmas in a while, I am not shipping off a bunch of handmade items to my family and friends.  Grrr!

I have been working sketching out  some patterns and think I may get those prototyped soon so I may put those in my Box on the blog. 

So instead of picturing my handmade wares, I want to share with everyone my favorite gifts Josh, Kyle and I are giving as gifts.  We did a lot of shopping online this year, which was helpful when all the stores were closed by the time I got off work. 

First, I think I am most excited about giving my new Sister-in-Law Beth a Pampered Chef Large Bar Pan.  I have one and I use it EVERY stinking day!  I love this pan for so many reasons.  I can bake everything from cookies, french bread, to bacon on it and when I am done, I just scrap off the grease, crumbs, whatever, and it is ready for the next time.  My stone is well cured, and oh so perfect.  I heard Beth say the last time she was down that she wanted one, I can’t wait to see her face on when she opens it up!  (By the way, they are traveling now and I believe there is no way she can see this blog post before she is down in our part to ruin her surprise!)

Second, though in the running for first, is the book Birdscapes. 

 

It is a beautiful pop-up book with bird songs in the book for the bird-lover in your life.  We got this book for Grandma G!  She doesn’t have a computer so there is really NO fear of her having her surprised ruined.  Grandma G is the most excellent woman.  Her quiet and patient compassion for all of us has been most appreciated by all of us.  Some of my fondest memories is playing hide-and-seek  with Will outside at Grandma and Grandaddy’s house while they watched the birds.  The most sought after bird was the Purple Martin.  In the yard, there were at least 3 purple martin houses waiting for the birds to check in at that exact right time of the year.  Apparently, there is a science to attracting these birds, and once they roost in a house, they will always come back to the same one.  Super cool!

 

 

Third, is also hard to say it is in third place, because I love these items SOOO much.  We got Josh’s Mother a special box of chocolates from Gearhart’s Fine Chocolates in Charlottesville, VA.  I am NOT a chocolate person, but they have one called the Maya, that is to DIE for!!  She is a chocolate person, so we got her a mixed box.  I am crossing my fingers that she will love them!

Next would have to be one of my gifts for Josh.  We decided this year not to go crazy, to just limit our gifts to smaller practical items.  Akin to plastic grocery bags, I HATE plastic water bottles.  Not just because they create garbage, but also the BPA issue.  So I looked all over comparing prices of aluminum water bottles and found Klean Kanteen to be the best reviewed product.  I also got him a matching lunch bag that has the most interesting freezing cells in them.  It is sure to be a hit!

I really can’t wait to share all my purchased gifts with my family this year.  Hopefully I will soon be caught up with sewing projects to post some much needed handmade items on the blog and on etsy. 

Happy Holidays To All!

 

Head Banger

Last Tuesday night I was sound asleep in my warm bed.  To say I was exhausted would be an understatement. 

At work we had just (that day) completed our 6th iteration of our military planner’s course this year.  That is fine and all…. however because the “boys” going out the door are deploying soon after the holidays we had to get the class in as quickly as possible- that meant we worked weekends.  We pulled at least 11 hour days everyday.  Let me tell you that was an experience I don’t want to re-live.  

So as I was soundly sleeping, I was also dreaming, which is quite typical for me when I am sooo tired.  This wasn’t your typical dream.  I was teetering on the edge of cerebral and geek in this dream.  I was the moderator of a heated debate between Bob Woodward and George W. Bush.  Weird!!  They were fighting back and forth over the state of the world and how the US is posturing herself for the future. 

For some reason I became involved in the discussion.  I don’t know what got me involved but it apparently jerked me awake suddenly. 

As I quickly realized I was awake, in frustration I threw my head down upon my pillow…though it wasn’t my pillow.  I slammed the corner of my bedside table.  It hit so hard I immediately had tears in my eyes.  I started to rub my head and realized I was bleeding quite a bit.  I ran to the bathroom and looked at myself and immediately freaked out.

I woke up Josh and of course, him seeing me covered in blood, he freaked.  Ice packs were made through the sobs.  I don’t ever remember crying out in pain like that.  We called the 24 hour nursing staff supplied by my insurance company to see if I needed to go to the hospital.  She calmed our fears and after I gained control of myself, I went back to sleep until my alarm went off.

I woke up like a trooper and got ready for work.  I even did my hair, despite my bleeding head wound.  I went to work sleepy and slightly out of sorts.  People at work kept asking “Anne, is everything ok with you?”  When I got a few more of those comments, I decided to contact my Doctor (whom I love!)

He told me to get on in the office so he could put some sutures in my head.  There were jokes being thrown around about my hard-head and being stubborn.  I was relieved at first, but then realized he may have to shave my head to get the stitches in!  This dream has just turned into a nightmare. 

I drove sheepishly to the doctor’s office and I didn’t even have to wait.  They brought me right in and started work.  The first question out of my mouth was “Are you going to shave my hair?”

Dr. Dan said, of course!  I whimpered, but then saw him wink at the nurse!  That devil!  All the anxiety slowly melted away with the shots of numb into the wound area.  They gave me two stitches and told me to come back in 10 days to get them out. 

I am pretty used to my red-badge of courage now.   I never thought 29 years old got stitches in their head for bad dreams.  It was kind of embarrassing.  I am glad it wasn’t a dream about falling off a unicorn or being superwoman.  Though it truly confirmed what a complete and total geek I really am. 

Sorry no pictures.  I didn’t want to gross anyone out.  Though the knot on my head is still quite substantial almost a week later. 

 

Run Forest!

Years ago I was quite over-weight, like almost beastily for my frame.  Not that I am anywhere near waifish, though within a few months of my desired or Happy Weight, I am considerably smaller.  It took quite a bit of time to lose 80lbs and a lot of focus. 

In the early stages of my weight-loss I changed what and how much I ate.  Weight Watchers really helped me “organize” my daily/weekly food intake.  It provided a great structure for me and it was completely easy to follow.  To me the weight just dripped off of me.  It was great. 

Like most weight-loss journey’s, I hit the dreaded plateau.  For weeks I wouldn’t budge!  Completely frustrating for many reasons.  When I would lose 10 lbs I had wanted new clothes (to look not so frumpy), and the cute clothes were fitting well for the first time in my life!  When the weight wouldn’t fall off, I would be frustrated with myself, the scale and my closet.  BTW – the people at Good Will knew me by name and would cheer me when I would make drop-offs. 

Amidst the frustrating, I started exercising doing a bi-weekly step aerobics class, an occasional yoga class, and basic cardio exercises on the machines.  Those basic routines went crazy when I found myself under the wing of a personal trainer.  I was weight-lifting and cardio-ing everyday!  I would spend an hour on the stair-climber following my upper-body workout.  Also, I didn’t shrug off the step classes and LOVED it when we would use the double-step days.  No Shakira, My hips don’t lie – they were shrinking.  I was starting to morph into a genuinely healthy person physically (mentally – that is a whole other blog post). 

The workouts changed a bit and I started running outside – a lot….sometimes 2 times a day at about 7-10 miles a day – again with the mental stuff.  I loved running.  The cadence of my jacket or t-shirt moving with me, my feet hitting the ground, the fresh-air and the race was so great.  I started running in short road races and eventually  worked my way up to the half-marathon.  What an accomplishment!  I couldn’t believe I did it.  I remember calling my Mom and Josh at after mile 10 and said “I have never ran this far EVER in one leg!”  It was fantastic – though my toes were crying at the end of that 13.1 miler.   What a great high!

I changed jobs soon there after and time requirements changed and the running wained.  I would run in sporadic bouts.  Feeling frustrated with my changing schedule and not having the opportunity to run.  Also, my BFF and running buddy moved away with her husband – Army John - thus ending the peer pressure to get the fat-booty up and trotting along. 

Embarrassingly to say, my sporadic run schedule has been for the last year, and I refuse to continue this pattern, Yes! Even before the New Year.

So, gladly I am reporting that I have been running, regularly and my stress levels are lower, my legs are a tad bit sore, but I feel great!  The runner’s high, not the weight,  is coming back

 

Freedom

For weeks it seems, I have been trapped in day-to-day operations.  Ever since I arrived home from Hawaii, I have been working double days from work to home praying in between there are enough hours in the day to get all my chores done.  At work we just finished up my 5th iteration of the course we teach, which I truly enjoy being a part of, despite how daunting it gets during the third full week.  I am lucky enough to have an extremely supportive husband who finds time to make dinner, start the laundry and everything else around the house as I work the loooong days.  I worked really hard this time as well not to “bring work home” with me, I can get easily spun-up over the most minor things.  All the preparation before the course starts, the excitment and adrenaline during, coupled with daily self-reflection is down-right exhausting.  I am happy to close the book on this past class. 

Friday when we sent all the “guys” home, I rushed home myself to get ready to travel to NYC.  Josh and I were going to meet our dear friends Nicole and John, to welcome John home from his nearly 15 month deployment in Iraq.  The homecoming was fantastic. 

Fearing I will make this entry the quintessential mush-post, I will briefly say, we are so happy John is home safe.  He truly made a difference during his time over in the sandbox. 

Being able to sit down and talk with John was fantastic for me.  Having the opportunity to understand John’s work allows me to appreciate my work even more, making those critical moments of self-reflection so important.  The better I am at my job, the better the “guys” can be when they are deployed.  I am so proud of what our guys do.  All of the controversy rests at the Washington, DC level conversations, not on the ground with the soldiers and civilians trying to do their best for America and the country they are serving in. 

Seeing John come home and the look of relief on his face reaffirmed my respect for those who serve their country (in any capacity).  We are all lucky there are guys like John out there.  During the last few minutes of the News Hour (my main news show) when they honor our service members, embrace the silent reprieve and freedom we are all so luckily surrounded by.