Mason is something else, I tell you.  I can’t believe the difference between 2 years and 2 1/2 years.  These last six months have been wild with lots of changes, primarily with the introduction of Owen who was born a short 3 weeeks after Mason’s second birthday. 

I remember the emotions I had when I found out I was pregnant with Owen were mixed ones.  I was thrilled to be having another child for Mason to grow up with, but I was also scared and sad that Mason would have to share me with something else.  From the first time I laid eyes on Mason he has been my sunshine; how in the world was I going to manage to keep up that love and devotion with another baby, and how in the world could I love another child as much as I do Mason?

Over the course of the 9 month pregnancy, I made the most of every minute, fearing he would feel rejected when the new one arrived.  I contemplated not nursing Owen just to be able to have more time with Mason.  For Mason, the transition to big brotherhood wasn’t easy.  I remember when he came to visit me and Owen in the hospital, he didn’t really want to get to close and Josh had to put him on the bed with me.  I was certain this was going to be our reality for the next 18 years.  I felt rejected and conflicted. 

As the first month of Owen’s life sped by, Mason would pull on me for attention or to play right when Owen would need to eat, it would seem.  Half of my postpartum tears were guilt from not giving Mason all the time I once had for him.  However, it slowly started improving.  Owen started to show his personality through his smiles and kicks of excitement.  Mason picked up on that right away.  What seemed like an eternity for me emotionally was a flip-of-the-switch for Mason.

Now Mason and Owen are in love with one another.  No one can make Owen smile like Mason and Mason is extremely protective of his Owen.  I explain the joy I feel from seeing them play together, even though it is limited with Owen only being 5 months old today.  These two boys are perfect!

Mason is still my silly, smart, and adorable boy.  He is spontaneous and surprises me with his wit.  His imagination in full operation and I love playing Thomas the Train with him as we scoot our trains to the imaginary Steamworks under our dining room table.  Every flower he sees, dandelions and all, he goes over to smell them and tells them they are “So beautiful”!  Every puddle must be splashed, every rock is his pirate treasure, and every worm tickles his hands.  He continues to be my sunshine, it just so happens he shines on us all and I don’t mind sharing.

A year ago today I went from being pregnant to being a Momma.  I thought I had a bit of an idea into what a great adventure the motherhood thing would be, but I had no clue it could be this good.

Mason’s birth story is one I am sure many women experience in this country.  With all my hopes laid on a minimally invasive birth, I just wanted to push him out no matter what the pain, no epidural, no medicine, just me and the work to get him here.  It didn’t happen so much like that. 

I went into my post date appointment, Mason’s due date was Oct 5, and I was praying the entire way there I was progressing and at least a tad bit dilated and effaced.  No joy, I was locked up tighter than a preacher’s daughter.  They performed an ultrasound on me to discover “there’s a big baby in there!”  I could have told them that, he had been kicking me in the lungs the last 2 months.  He wallowed all around in my belly, much like he does now.  I am not complaining, I love the fact he loves to be around me.  My OB/GYN asked me to come into her office so she can talk me through “having a big baby”.  The ultrasound measured him around 9 lbs 1 oz.  I thought, “eh, it can be done!” 

I went into Dr. Pirkle’s office and she looked at me with this look that told me this conversation is not going to go the way I want it to.  She started in saying she was giving me the American Association of Obstetrics recommendations – casearean….because of shoulder dystocia.  Really!  I didn’t even pay attention in the childbirth class when they talked about that.  I assumed I could push the guy out, there would be pain, but I could take it!.  I cried, a lot, and she was great talking me down from the thoughts I have failed!  I went over every egg I ate for breakfast, SO YUMMY.  Either way, this was pretty much the decision, I didn’t want him to get stuck and have his back and shoulders screwed up!  We scheduled the casearean for Saturday the 10th of Oct for his birthdate.  She finished up by saying “Head over to the hospital for a non-stress just to make sure all is ok”.  

I cried all the way to the car on the phone with Josh…”I have to have a caesarean!”  He said the phrase I absolutely hated at the time “Either way, it will be a healthy baby.”  I thought what a cop-out.  I told him he didn’t need to come to the hospital, they were just doing a non-stress test and after that I would be going to work.   He said “I will be at the hospital in about 20 minutes.”  I tried to talk him out of it, but it just wasn’t working.  Thank goodness he didn’t listen to me. 

I checked into the labor and delivery ward and they hooked me up to belts.  I was a have a few contractions, but nothing that would make me think this baby is coming out.  With the contractions Mason’s heart rate would fluctuate.  The nurses would reassure me that this was “No Big Deal!”  Josh arrived and we watched a bit of tv while the tape with his heart rate poured out.  Dr. Wentworth, another doc from the practice, came in and looked at the tape and said “Ok, so we are going to have a baby today!  I don’t feel comfortable with you going home with the heart rate fluctuations and the contractions”.  I am sure I turned white as a ghost and I saw Josh turn green. 

We were preparing for around a 5pm birth and it was about 2:30 at this point.  Josh ran down to the cafeteria and grabbed a salad.  While he was down there, the nurses came in and said ok let’s go!  I texted Josh saying “it is time to go NOW!”  He rushed up, we both hit the restroom before we went into the OR and we were off.  Josh was walking behind me getting instructions, while I was getting some as well.  They walked me into the OR and I looked behind me and Josh was gone, apparently putting on scrubs and getting ready for surgery.  I got on the table and received my epidural, which I think may have been part of the cause  of my ruptured disc, and I couldn’t feel a dang thing!  By the way, I got into the OR at 3:42 pm.   They prepped me, explained all that was going to happen and then Josh came in.  He sat by my head and I was terrified.  Dr. Wentworth came in, they counted every single instrument; there were a lot of many things, I remember thinking.  At 4:04 pm they made the incision and at 4:08 Mason was born – 8 lbs 15 oz, 21.5 inches long.  I remember thinking WOW he is BIG and he looks like my brother Will. 

I am pretty sure I have described what an awesome feeling poured over me, but it is worth re-telling.  It was like magic, like falling in love times infinity.  At 4:42 they wheeled me out of the OR and all the nurses were laughing because it “Only took and hour” and “Dr. Wentworth is the one you want doing this!” I didn’t care at all, I had my baby boy and he was perfect.  Chubby Cheeks, dark eyes and already so loveable.  Josh and I were a bowl full of mush.  I still am everytime I see him.  That was truly the best day of my life. 

And today, I can’t believe that was an entire year ago.  A lot has happened in just 365 days, but the most important part is watching our little man growing before our eyes.  It’s the best trip of a lifetime!

Happy Birthday Honey, I love you Baby Bear!

Let them eat cake!

Well, this picture isn’t from my kitchen but it sure is the best thing going in any kitchen. 

He is a handful though!  I have to divert him from crawling in the dishwasher with wooden spoons and pots that make lots of noise.  I know when that noise stops I should be looking for the little man. 

He just gets better and better everyday. 

In addition to all this kitchen time, do you notice the teeth in the boy’s mouth?  Well he has officially been cut off and my pumping operations ceased as of last week.  At times I am feeling a bit blue over being done, but going to bed and waking up without needing to pump sure is a time saver.  He is eating full meals that are not puree or chunky mash.  He loves everything I put in front of him.  The roasted brussel sprouts I had no idea how he would take that, but he ate it right up!

We are already planning his first birthday party, which is hard to believe.  Time flies when you are having fun!

Since coming back to work on the 28th of December 2009 I have known this week was coming…back story…At work I am an instructor for military members on (basically) how to plan.  I love this part of my job.  It reminds me of my teaching days (which seem like EONS ago) and I learn so much each time.  This will be my 14th time teaching the class, however this time is different.  We are going to Germany to teach this class….

I never in my wildest dreams ever thought I would say this, but I do not want to travel with my job right now.  In the past I LOVED traveling and getting on the road.  I got to see new places, eat new foods, blah blah blah, it was great.  However this trip is for 20 days!!!  I am already teary-eyed at night snuggling Mason, before he goes to bed, just thinking that I will miss 20 nights of his life.  GAH! 

I try to put this trip in perspective and realize our military members must pack up and leave their children all-the-time.  Understanding how they feel, makes me appreciate them even more.  Guys at work tell me stories about how they missed the first 8 months of their child’s life.  That makes my heart-break.  I am not ready to leave Mason. 

The last time I was in Germany I was 5 months pregnant with him, feeling his first flutters in my womb.  I still remember those feelings.  He moved for the first time during a planning session….like what we are going to be teaching how to do…which made me smile thinking maybe Mason likes planning as much as momma does….GEEEEEEEKK!  It is now so much different knowing he will be at home in the wonderful care of his Daddy (who really is the greatest) and all will be well, but…what if he forgets me, won’t nurse when I get back,  takes his first steps, says his real first word, gets sick, a boo-boo…the list goes on-and-on.  I don’t want to feel like this at all, I don’t want to go!

A funny side story…knowing this trip is coming up, I have stockpiled breast milk in the kegerator/freezer out back.  The freezer is FULL!  This past saturday I went out to put my latest deposit in the milk-bank and noticed the engine on the frig wasn’t working.  I checked all the milk – all still frozen and screamed “JOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  THE FREEZER ISN’T WORKING, SAVE THE MILK!!!!!!”  I had a ton of food I made for him as well, but that didn’t rank as high as the milk.  Oh my goodness, once I shot up that red-star-cluster for help, Josh hopped into action and we did indeed save the gallons of milk, but goodness it took me a while to calm down after that.  It is hard work to pump all that, AND I want him to have a little bit of me (is that weird???) while I am gone!

At the end of the week I will be on a plane headed to the fatherland without my family.  Even though it will be with a great group of guys….I can’t wait for it to start so I can just get it over with.

So I tried hard this week to think of something sweet and show you pictures of something other than Mason, however I just couldn’t get past how freaking sweet these are!

I am a sucker for this little guy.  He is so sweet and cuddly, just a joy to be around.  This weekend we are taking him to his first “adult event” (my cousin’s wedding) and I hope he stays his sweet self for that evening. 

He is sleeping harder and harder now, and is getting difficult to rouse in the morning when it is time to change to go to Ms. R’s house.  Though once he is up, chewing on my cell phone (yuck I know), he is as happy as a pig in slop. 

His Grandaddy from Oklahoma (OK!) came for a visit this week and Mason FELL IN LOVE with him.  He got his first taste of sugar, when Grandaddy put a blob of grape jelly in his mouth.  I couldn’t stop it from happening, even though I deep down was sad he was getting it, because that is what Grandparents do, right?  Also, Grandaddy doesn’t call him Mason, he calls him Tommy…he thinks no kid will bother him with a name like Tommy.  Too funny, since Tommy is what my Dad when by. 

I would have some more pictures to throw up here, if I would just upload the million from my camera I have taken in the past two weeks.  With the visit from Grandaddy and the garden being put in (hurry up tomatoes!!!) Computer, pictures and blog time has been limited. 

I am loving that You Capture is keeping me honest and thinking about what I can post.  I look forward to next week’s challenge “Spring!”

Wow do I stink at this whole blog thing…..sad face.  Who would have though being pregnant would shift your entire schedule around. 

Soooo anyway, Today I am 5 weeks from my due date.  I don’t do math in public, but that is 35 days.  UNREAL!  I am getting extremely excited and anxious all at the same time.  Dreams of dropping the baby boy are usually nightly occurrences, along with my milk not coming in, and having him say “ok now what” the minute we get him home from the hospital.  Yikes! 

My doctorsays all is on track and he isn’t too big and neither am I, YAY!  Though I do feel rather whalish and anxiously await someone to scream, “Is anyone a Marine Biologist?” when I am walking waddling down the walk.

Speaking of the pregnant waddle.  My waddle really only kicks in when Baby Boy pushes on the organ that used to be my bladder.  What fun!

I think the best most irritating part of being THIS pregnant is everyone has an opinion on when you are going to deliver and how big your child is going to be.  I have heard everything from, “Gee are you going to make it through the day?” to “Wow, that is going to be a BIG baby!  I say 11 lbs!!!”  You want to piss off a pregnant lady, that is the best way to make it happen. 

This week I move on to weekly doctor appointments…which I suppose is necessary to tell if I am really going to get this baby out early or on time…or late.  I honestly would love to hold him in until Oct 9, only because I won’t have to go back to work until after the New Year… 🙂

On to another topic…our kitchen remodel.  Can I tell you how much I LOVE LOVE LOVE my kitchen and LOVE LOVE LOVE my husband who basically did everything to get it done.  He rocks.  We went from pale yellow BLAH walls, to awesome Granny Smith Apple Green walls with ALL new cabinets, sans grease from previous owners, AND!!! solid surface counter tops.  Did I mention I love it!  Here are some before and afters:

From Kitchen Remodel

 

From Kitchen Remodel
From Kitchen Remodel

 

Sweet huh!  We still have some finishing touches to complete, however it is a HUGE improvement. 

We have almost finished with baby boy’s room.  We were lucky enough to get a TON of stuff from friends.  We have been given everything from a baby swing and changing table to onsies and a breast pump!  Friends are great!  Thanks Everyone!!   We just have to acquire a rocking chair and we will be ready….in his bedroom that is. 

I should have some more pictures to post after this weekend.  I am headed home to the farm for my baby shower with the family!  Thanks to my AWESOME sister-in-law, it will be fantastic. 

More to come…and without months in between.

We had our 20 week ultra-sound today and it was nothing less than magical.  Being pregnant never became so real than seeing the little sprout on the screen today.  It is hard to find the words to see your own child’s heart beating and it wiggling away from the pressing wand. 

The ultra-sound nurse told us she was going to do a lot of measuring first to make sure they can get as much on screen as possible and then she would help determine the sex.  The little sprout had its own plan.  Pretty much from the beginning we could see our little one is a boy.  I found myself wiping tears away during the entire time after that.  It was so exciting. 

He looked like a real little person, not the alien-like mass of cells at 12 weeks we had for some genetic testing.  He has a sweet little round head and long legs that he is reaching up to his chin (he gets that from his dad – the long legs that is). 

I was a little conflicted going into the ultra-sound.  I thought of great things to do with boys and girls.  Of course sewing and cooking with a little girl, and fishing and gardening with a boy.  I can’t be happier that the doctor, who is awesome, told us everything looks perfect, and that perfect baby is a boy. 

It is hard to believe we are half-way finished with the pregnancy, it will be a different world, but this discovery of our little boy and now really having “eyes” on him is great.

From Ultra-Sound 20 May 2009
From Ultra-Sound 20 May 2009