Lately I have been feeling much like Meredith Grey, a completely fictional TV character from a typical TV drama that I must admit I religiously watch.  Meredith is a successful surgeon with great friends and again (FINALLY – Maybe) a great man in her life.  Meredith is constantly wishy-washy on her commitment to her man, Dr. Shepherd / McDreamy. 

How could a newly married woman be wishy-washy about her husband?  Well I am not!  Josh rocks!  He cooks, cleans, fixes cars, builds decks, renovates our house, is a great father, loves me and he is funny to boot! 

What I am feeling wishy-washy about is not my McDreamy, it is my McBaby!  About a month ago I was dead-set on getting preggers ASAP!  Like it couldn’t come soon enough.  I would walk through Target and just meander through the baby aisles just to see what I like, in case I needed to start decorating a nursery.  I was totally STOKED! 

Then a career opportunity has arisen.  It really isn’t a new job, just a promotion and seemingly more responsibility.  I am totally down with that, and can definitely juggle more projects in my work schedule.  What freaks me out is if the leadership I work with will think less of me, hold it against me, not afford me the same opportunity as a mother than a childless woman. 

My dear friend Heather balances this role quite well, and I am totally impressed.  I often wonder if my own fear of being either a total waste at work, a horrible mother, or worst of all BOTH, is holding me back. 

So here I am feeling stuck – McBaby + McCareer = Who KNOWS!  I hate not being able to tell the future to see if I completely succeed or fail.  I know I have the support of Josh and he is my #1, but being a working mother is like HUGE changes. 

So if you see me lighting a bunch of candles and placing them on a floor somewhere in the shape of a crib and changing table, you can be certain that I am still wishy-washy on my McBaby.  Either way, I am going for the McCareer.

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Ha!  That was fun at least making the list….

Last weekend was great, I got to see my pal Jess walk across the stage at Mary Washington University; I was able to cook a meal for my family for Mother’s Day; and I got absolutely nothing done around my own house.  What does that mean?  This weekend I am going to be the proverbial chicken with its head cut-off running around getting projects accomplished.  Here is a small sampling:

Friday – in no particular order

1. Drive home from work – which should only take 30 minutes, instead I will be sitting in traffic for at least an hour.  I kid you not.  It sucks. – DID IT

1.1.  Oh wait – don’t forget to pick up the new cell phones from the FedEx facility – another 15-20 minutes.  Cool phones though!.  I love Verizon Wireless. – DID IT

2. Stop at the grocery for – noodles, part skim ricotta cheese, mozarella, sauce and meat.  Guess what that is going to be???  (see #2.3) – Yep that too…

2.1.  Make the dinner

2.2.  Serve the dinner – You know it!

2.3. Clean up after making Lasagna- ugh!  It is the absolute worst dish to clean up after- does doing it Saturday count?

3.  Cut out the rest of the baby shower projects I am working on finishing before the 3 showers I am attending in the next 4 weeks!  YIKES!  I am loving doing the baby stuff by the way.  Another reason my Etsy shop is not full of cute items. – BBBPPTTTTTT Yea, about that – it goes down hill from here.

4.  Check on the veggie garden – I fear the raccoon from last year will be back any moment.  That rascal! – well ok that was easy

5.  Paint the Foyer and Hallway – color is Desert Fortress from Lowes – a nice warm brown despite the defensive name.  – HELL YEA

6.  Attempt to stay awake past 9:00 pm. – didn’t happen

Saturday – In order

1.  Clean the house so….. HOPEFULLY!!! Josh can mow the lawn.  – DID IT

2.  Rascally Raccoon watch. – HISSSSSSSSS You know it!

3.  Prepare for the most fabulous Little League Baseball Game.  GO KYLE!!! – No questions

4.  Go to a BBQ for about an hour – the first one of the day.– Sure did

5.  Go to Kyle’s game.  REMEMBER THE SUNSCREEN!!! – – Yikes!  almost forgot

 

6.  Go to a BBQ – the second one of the day.  I hope I haven’t melted from the game.  No time restraint on this activity, thank goodness. – MMMMM Moonshine 🙂 oh yea

7.  Go home – work on Baby projects.  They are SOOOO cute!!!  Will post pictures when finished. – HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Sunday – in no particular order

1.  Grocery Shop – ugh!  I hate it.  But like Blooms – No questions

2.  Put the new floor down in the Foyer and Hallway – the reason we painted!  Hardwood – can you hear the Angel’s singing? – We did it….well Josh did it

3.  pack for my trip – business- YAY out of the office time! – had to

4  Baby Projects- – I got on it, dog-gone-it

5  Cook Dinner – i haven’t planned what yet – maybe Leftover Lasagna. – Josh cooked, awww

6  You guessed it Baby Projects. – yep!!!!

Shew!  A full weekend, can’t wait to get started….and finished.   – Well sorta