A year ago today I went from being pregnant to being a Momma.  I thought I had a bit of an idea into what a great adventure the motherhood thing would be, but I had no clue it could be this good.

Mason’s birth story is one I am sure many women experience in this country.  With all my hopes laid on a minimally invasive birth, I just wanted to push him out no matter what the pain, no epidural, no medicine, just me and the work to get him here.  It didn’t happen so much like that. 

I went into my post date appointment, Mason’s due date was Oct 5, and I was praying the entire way there I was progressing and at least a tad bit dilated and effaced.  No joy, I was locked up tighter than a preacher’s daughter.  They performed an ultrasound on me to discover “there’s a big baby in there!”  I could have told them that, he had been kicking me in the lungs the last 2 months.  He wallowed all around in my belly, much like he does now.  I am not complaining, I love the fact he loves to be around me.  My OB/GYN asked me to come into her office so she can talk me through “having a big baby”.  The ultrasound measured him around 9 lbs 1 oz.  I thought, “eh, it can be done!” 

I went into Dr. Pirkle’s office and she looked at me with this look that told me this conversation is not going to go the way I want it to.  She started in saying she was giving me the American Association of Obstetrics recommendations – casearean….because of shoulder dystocia.  Really!  I didn’t even pay attention in the childbirth class when they talked about that.  I assumed I could push the guy out, there would be pain, but I could take it!.  I cried, a lot, and she was great talking me down from the thoughts I have failed!  I went over every egg I ate for breakfast, SO YUMMY.  Either way, this was pretty much the decision, I didn’t want him to get stuck and have his back and shoulders screwed up!  We scheduled the casearean for Saturday the 10th of Oct for his birthdate.  She finished up by saying “Head over to the hospital for a non-stress just to make sure all is ok”.  

I cried all the way to the car on the phone with Josh…”I have to have a caesarean!”  He said the phrase I absolutely hated at the time “Either way, it will be a healthy baby.”  I thought what a cop-out.  I told him he didn’t need to come to the hospital, they were just doing a non-stress test and after that I would be going to work.   He said “I will be at the hospital in about 20 minutes.”  I tried to talk him out of it, but it just wasn’t working.  Thank goodness he didn’t listen to me. 

I checked into the labor and delivery ward and they hooked me up to belts.  I was a have a few contractions, but nothing that would make me think this baby is coming out.  With the contractions Mason’s heart rate would fluctuate.  The nurses would reassure me that this was “No Big Deal!”  Josh arrived and we watched a bit of tv while the tape with his heart rate poured out.  Dr. Wentworth, another doc from the practice, came in and looked at the tape and said “Ok, so we are going to have a baby today!  I don’t feel comfortable with you going home with the heart rate fluctuations and the contractions”.  I am sure I turned white as a ghost and I saw Josh turn green. 

We were preparing for around a 5pm birth and it was about 2:30 at this point.  Josh ran down to the cafeteria and grabbed a salad.  While he was down there, the nurses came in and said ok let’s go!  I texted Josh saying “it is time to go NOW!”  He rushed up, we both hit the restroom before we went into the OR and we were off.  Josh was walking behind me getting instructions, while I was getting some as well.  They walked me into the OR and I looked behind me and Josh was gone, apparently putting on scrubs and getting ready for surgery.  I got on the table and received my epidural, which I think may have been part of the cause  of my ruptured disc, and I couldn’t feel a dang thing!  By the way, I got into the OR at 3:42 pm.   They prepped me, explained all that was going to happen and then Josh came in.  He sat by my head and I was terrified.  Dr. Wentworth came in, they counted every single instrument; there were a lot of many things, I remember thinking.  At 4:04 pm they made the incision and at 4:08 Mason was born – 8 lbs 15 oz, 21.5 inches long.  I remember thinking WOW he is BIG and he looks like my brother Will. 

I am pretty sure I have described what an awesome feeling poured over me, but it is worth re-telling.  It was like magic, like falling in love times infinity.  At 4:42 they wheeled me out of the OR and all the nurses were laughing because it “Only took and hour” and “Dr. Wentworth is the one you want doing this!” I didn’t care at all, I had my baby boy and he was perfect.  Chubby Cheeks, dark eyes and already so loveable.  Josh and I were a bowl full of mush.  I still am everytime I see him.  That was truly the best day of my life. 

And today, I can’t believe that was an entire year ago.  A lot has happened in just 365 days, but the most important part is watching our little man growing before our eyes.  It’s the best trip of a lifetime!

Happy Birthday Honey, I love you Baby Bear!

Let them eat cake!

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Let’s sum it up… 

Oct 7 – Mason Thomas was born – despite my desire for the wonders of natural childbirth, I didn’t progress at all and he HAD to come out…cesarean it was!  It was the most incredible feeling ever.  Take the emotion of falling in love and multiply that by the largest number you can think of and that sorta comes close to how awesome it was to see him for the first time.  He immediately took to nursing, of which I was thankful.  We established his schedule pretty well and we even went on our first trip to meet the extended family two weeks after he was born.  It was magic!! 

From Mason’s First Week

Then…. 

Nov 1 – KABOOOMMM My back explodes.  A disc ruptured in my L4-L5 and I was COMPLETELY debilitated.  I called my mom around 9pm that evening and said “Mom I can’t walk, I need your help”  My mom had to come down and take care of Mason and me so Josh could go to work…for six weeks!  I literally could not do anything until my back surgery on Nov 19.  I couldn’t nurse for 20 days, that was heartbreaking.  Mason and I were on the floor together for all that time. 

From Mason the Back-Breaker

  

He was really the only thing that kept me going.  I did not have the maternity leave I dreamed of.  I felt robbed.  I cried out of pain, and sometimes screamed but I also cried out of grief because I didn’t have that magic time with my baby.  My mom was the greatest through all of it.  We couldn’t have done it without her.  

From Mason the Back-Breaker

   

To add to it, my image of all the sweet sewing projects that I was going to do for Mason didn’t happen, I didn’t do all the holiday baking I wanted and I certainly didn’t decorate the house for the holidays, much to the chagrin of Kyle. 

From Mason’s 6th and 7th Weeks
From Mason meets Santa

Thank goodness for the Christmas Tree at Mom’s house.  It has been quite a road to recovery, but thanks to the help of family and friends life is getting better everyday.  

From Christmas and New Year 20092010

I have been extremely embarrassed for not updating my blog, and I realized the other day all of these great things are happening to Mason that I have start documenting….like daily…or close to it.   He is nearly 6 months old and I cannot believe how much has changed already.  He certainly is my sweet boy and he sighs the deep sigh and puts his head on my shoulder when I pick him up out of his crib in the mornings.  I love it….like really love it.  I sometimes can’t believe he is MY son.  I have this running list of things he does that I LOVE and mentally write down in my head such as…. 

– While in his bouncy chair he kicks both his legs simultaneously and makes the chair bounce so much, he laughs, we all laugh.  It is great. 

– The mmmm sound he makes when I put a spoonful of peas (that I made) in his mouth.  Then he opens quickly for more Mommy! 

– His coos, razzberries and little gabber talk. 

– The way he calls for us to come keep him company.  It is like a bird call, and it works! 

– His fat legs. 

– How he sucks his bottom lip when he is asleep. 

– His HUGE smile when I make that clicking noise (the one to call horses) he loves so much.  

And on and on and on…My list will get longer I am certain of that.  How else am I going to remember all of these things?  

I am going to put away my guilt and just start again….